


Only Human

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Fight and Makeup, First War with Voldemort, M/M, first wizarding war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 19:52:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14292195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The War is taking its toll on the couple, and Sirius says something he regrets.





	Only Human

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WolfstarPups90](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfstarPups90/gifts).



They weren’t ready for life after graduation. Things weren’t easy. Of course, war either brings a couple together or it will tear them apart. James and Lily were brought together by dark times. Sirius and Remus, not so much. **  
**

Sirius had proposed, again. Remus had always told him they should wait, now wasn’t the time. So Sirius would wait, and then try again. Tonight had been no different.

“When is the right time, Remus, huh? You keep saying that.” Sirius’ voice filled the flat, leaving no corner untouched by his frustration.

“I don’t know, okay? But it isn’t now. It’s just too dangerous.” Barely a whisper left his lips.

“Bullshit! How is it more dangerous than anything else we do? These missions we go on, even being alive right now is bloody dangerous.”

“I’m tired of this fight. Can we please drop it? It’s not worth it.”

“Not worth it?!” Sirius’ arms flew up in exasperation. “ I’m not worth it? Our future together is not worth it?” A chuckle. “Wow, Remus, tell me how you really feel.”

“I don’t deserve to marry you, okay? I’ll just make it harder for you. Maybe if I didn’t have this condition it’d be-”

“It’d be what? Different? You know, just because you turn into a monster every month does not give you the right to wallow in self pity. I’m so sick of the melodrama.” Sirius had let his frustration get the best of him, once again.

“If that’s how you truly see me, Sirius, then fine.” His statement was punctuated with a pop as Remus suddenly disappeared.

“FUCK!” Glass clattered to the ground, accompanied with the drips of hot blood, leaving a slight fog on where they hit the glass.

He hadn’t even bothered to clean himself up before he flooed to James’.

Sirius heard none of the words his brother said before a hand grabbed his and dragged him to the bathroom. His hand was stuck under the tap and his knuckles were cleaned.

“I really did it this time, Jamie. He’ll never take me back now.” Tears left their stains as the weight of his words crashed into him. How could he have really said that to Remus? Remus, who had forgiven him too much already, who reminded him he could love, who taught him he wasn’t his family or his name. Remus, who made him forget about the curses from his mother and the looks from his cousins. Merlin, Remus deserved the world and Sirius had gone and said that to him.

Any and all reassurance went right through the wizard. He didn’t care what James had to say, Sirius had to find a way to fix this.

As soon as his hand was bandaged, he refused to heal it, Sirius began apparating around London, searching everywhere he could think of. Remus always seemed one step ahead of him. He stopped this tactic when Tom handed him a note in familiar scrawl saying to stop looking for him.

The next week, Sirius never left the flat. He lived on the sofa, his attention peaking everytime someone neared the front door. Eventually, James had to drag him to the shower and Sirius realized Remus wasn’t coming home.

Finally, Sirius wrote his apology. Not like he was going to be able to deliver it verbally.

“Dear  ~~Moony~~  Remus”

“I don’t deserve to call you Moony. I fucked up. Big time. I know this. And you probably won’t believe me, but I didn’t mean it. I swear on James’ mother, I didn’t mean what I said. I guess I still haven’t learned to handle my frustration. I’m so sorry I keep taking out on you and I’m sorry I still need to keep apologizing. I know it isn’t fair of me to keep hurting you like this. I understand if you never come back, or even answer this letter. But please, believe me when I say you are not a monster. Never in your life. I might be. Anyway, you don’t want to read me drone on and wallow. I love you.”

“Padfoot”

The owl flew at the same speed as Sirius’ tears, until exhaustion over took him.

A sudden pop broke the silence of the apartment as a head of black hair shot up from the sofa arm.

“You’re not a monster, either, Sirius Black.”


End file.
